Kemain lagi kawen ni ha.

Nikah

Bersanding

Bertandang

Earlier this month, one of my closest cousins, Ain, got married to the love of 7 years in her life (and still counting), Fadhlee.

I remember their first date, back then when he's not yet her boyfriend, she brought me along, because I lived in Johor Bahru circa 2006, as well as the guy. Funny thing about it, at first, she didn't like him back then, and he's obviously the opposite. That's the only thing I keep repeating whenever I want to tease my cousin.

Not long after that, I was told that they're dating. And until last year, they've decided to get engaged. And the wedding came in the following year, which is this year.

It was beautiful. The ceremonies were really beautiful. It was kind of special. Being in all of the ceremonies gave me kinds of feelings, happy of course, sad at the same time, and of all, stunned. I don't know why. I've been to hundreds of weddings, but this was the once that touched me so much. Maybe because she's among my very closest (you know how close I am to my cousins) relatives. I kept asking questions to her, like how's that feeling, and she said, in summary, "Relieved, and most of all, extraordinarily loved."

Beautiful.

It taught me a lot, because there's a lot that takes two person to love each other, however it makes hardships and obstacles look so easy to be faced. And a lot of other stuff.

Both of Lye and Jijo are getting married next year, I've heard the news already. I can't wait to organize the hen parties! I am so excited, and bewildered too.

It's nice to know that all four of us are growing up according to the plan.

Note : One thing I love about wedding is, not the food, not the colors, but the veil. I just don't know why. I go to wedding just to see the bride's veil. Funny isn't it?

Photo credits to Ain's photographer.

Certain people are very very tiring, you know.

I don't want to be spectacular, I don't want to be bold, I don't want to be awesome,

I just want to be fine. And normal.

Because being fine and normal represents the capability to live this life to the fullest, on your own. And because being fine and normal always beats people's expectation. And not to forget, being fine and normal often tells you that you have nothing to lose.

I believe in that now. I don't expect people to understand the difficult part of me, and I don't put any hopes in them having the courtesy to let me be in their life. I am not saying that I am a humble person, I am absolutely not. But I don't want to be anywhere near the spotlight, if you know what I mean.

I love myself the way I am. I just want to run free. I see a lot in this whole world. I think I want to pause everything else and focus on what I am aiming for now. Which is being fine and normal. It feels nice. At least at this particular moment.

Sedih la.

You know, when we were teenagers, we always thought being bad and irrational is cool. Yes, I can't deny that. It is true, I felt the same way too.

But come on, growing up is certainly scary, but being stuck between your teen angst and teenage curiosity at the age of 24 is not cute. It is time to grow up, no, you should be growing up by now.

Don't ever do stupid things just because you have issues with yourself. Don't ever betray your friends just because you want attention. And don't ever think that no one in this world loves you, hence the stupid actions.

Try to at least speak to yourself. Is this really what you want in life? Have faith in God, bitch.

10 perkara rawak mengenai gua, kalau lu ingin tahu. Gua kata, kalau.

1. Sehingga umur gua dalam pertengahan belasan tahun, baru gua tahu beza gulai dengan kari tu apa. Gua sedih kalau ingat balik perkara tu.

2. Gua seorang manusia yang lu paling susah nak nampak pakai barang kemas. Raya pun belum tentu gua beremas-emas ni. Gua rasa macam joyah kalau pakai gelang emas.

3. Sayur adalah musuh utama gua. Setiap kali makan, PS mesti cakap, "Macamana lah nak besar, tak makan sayur!" Sampai sekarang. Tapi sekarang tu gua rasa dia sindir je tu. Takkan la dia tak perasan gua sebesar apa?

4. Di umur 24 tahun, gua masih tidur bilik mak bapak gua. Tanpa rasa bersalah.

5. Gua sebenarnya sungguh pemalu di mana-mana pertemuan kali pertama dengan lelaki. Selepas beberapa kali bertemu, lelaki pulak yang naik malu dengan gua.

6. Posisi tidur gua dulu kini dan selamanya, adalah meniarap. Gua ingat lagi kawan lelaki gua pernah sound, "Sebab tido tiarap lah, boobs kita jadi macam saggy." Boobs kita, kata dia.

7. Gua selalu tertinggal berita. Selalunya berita hari ini, gua akan dapat tau dalam esok atau lusa.

8. Gua suka tengok perempuan daripada lelaki. Walaupun gua lebih suka lelaki daripada perempuan.

9. Gua memang ada alahan dengan remaja 13-17 tahun.

10. Sampai sekarang gua memang tak pernah baca buku Harry Potter satu pun walaupun gua suka nak gila semua cerita dia. Gua kan hipster.

Teacher Syafa. Boleh tahan gedik bunyi dia.

So okay now I am working as a part-time tutor/language teacher at Cambridge Language Centre here in Batu Pahat while waiting for you-know-what-I'm-not-going-to-repeat-it-for-like-a-thousand-times-here.

First class went really well. Well enough I think, because one of the students requested to call me Teacher Teddy kepala hotak because she said "Teacher cute sangatttttt!" haih la. So I said no.

But the thing is, I, surprisingly, don't hate teaching. At least for now. I don't know, in another few weeks I'll change my mind so we'll see.

So, change of topic. I gained weight like hell weh. Like seriously I now can't fit in PS's kain baju kurung, this is killing me. I don't want to accept the fact that she's getting skinnier than me, but that is it.

Okay next time if YOU want to point out about my weight, please say that I am heavier than the comparison subject, instead of saying bigger than him/her because it won't hurt me that much. Even though you don't know what the hell is my weight measurement. I still can accept that.

Life is not yet boring here in Batu Pahat. Days are filled with CSIs, air sirap, baby kittens, backbitings and stuff. I don't go out much so that is all left for me to do. One thing that bothers me these two three weeks staying here in kampung is that I miss my friends. So. Much.

I miss having teh tarik with them. I miss our stupid jokes and stupid laughs. I can die lah like this. I promise I'll come to KL once in awhile when I have enough money lah kot I can't stand not seeing them.

And basically I miss Mamak Hero, Murni's and Mali's and most of all, Wong Jowo.

But no, I haven't regretted, not even a single bit of moving back to hometown, yet.

Kau ingat aku malaikat nak sabar lebih-lebih?

Aku dah lama hidup tak ada rasa marah dekat orang. Okay tipu, baru dua hari lepas aku marah orang tegur aku gemuk. Celaka.

Tapi maksud aku di sini, aku dah lama tak marah, geram sampai terbawak-bawak mengigau, bangun tidur sambung geram sampai menangis terajang dinding.

Jangan nak mula.

Ibu baru pesan dekat aku,

"Sebab mencarut tu lah hidup jadi tak berkat, rezeki susah nak datang."

Kau jangan nak mula.

Hari hari pun Hari Ibu, bukan hari ni aje.

Pasangan Miang Jiwang.

"Terima kasih sebab tak pernah ungkit hutang sakit bersalin, hutang air susu, hutang setiap butir nasi, hutang air mata, dan pelbagai hutang yang lain. Sedikit sayang pun tak akan berkurang, sedikit kasih pun tak akan menipis. Selamat Hari Ibu, Bomoh Tua! Dan juga seluruh mak budak dalam dunia!"

Takkan ada satu manusia pun yang boleh kira berapa banyak syukurnya aku atas masih kewujudan kedua-dua ibu ayah aku. Kalau sekali diuji hilang salah satu, boleh gila aku. Hidup terlalu bergantung kepada keduanya ini sesungguhnya mengundang risau setiap saat. Risau bagaimana nak diteruskan terbang kalau hilang sayap.

Lalu hendak aku khabarkan kepada mereka yang telah hilang seorang, mahupun keduanya sekali, bahawa tidak ada simpati untuk kamu, sebaliknya rasa kagum bila tegap kamu berdiri, sedangkan aku kalau menggalas semua rasa itu, pasti merangkak dari mula sampai ke akhir.

Jadi sempena Hari Ibu, dimana tiada pun apa-apa sambutan tapi cukup buat aku bahagia kerana ini kali pertama selepas 6 tahun jauh jarak kami, Hari Ibu aku lalui dengan setiap saat hadirnya Ibu di sisi. Biar sampai naik rimas, aku tak peduli, kalau boleh aku bergayut di bahunya, aku bergayut.

Seronok.

Oh, Selamat Hari Ibu juga buat Ayah sebab jadikan Ibu seorang ibu, yang penuh kasih sayang, sikit pun tak pernah kurang.

Credits to Hel-looks.

These are what I actually used to look like. In terms of color scheme, mind you. I started getting into bright colors when I was 20. My teenage life was full of blacks, greys, dark greens, and navy blues back then. And I loved it.

I am thinking of going back to that era of mine. Colors bore me nowadays. I am letting go every bright color that I can see in my closet.

The nicest attire I've ever encountered.

Bantu-membantu sesama manusia adalah dituntut agama.

Cewah ayat pancing aku kan. HAHA

http://fatassbigbosom.blogspot.com/

Tolong berbelanja sampai pengsan.

Sesungguhnya paling sedih sekali part nikah la. Sedih siud.

Diorang cakap aku macam perempuan joget masa wedding Ain itu hari. HAHAHA

Sumpah penat, tapi sumpah seronok.

Lama gila tak menggelugut dengan sepupu.

Kali ni memang balas dendam sungguh.

Boleh tahan sedih jugak bila mengenangkan Ain dah kahwin.

Nanti dah tak boleh tido sama-sama dah.

Ye la, takkan nak suruh laki dia tido luar, kitorang tido sekatil macam biasa.

Ain berkali-kali ingatkan, "Jangan lupakan aku."

Lepas ni, tak sure siapa punya turn pulak.

Aku rasa Lye.

Cadangnya hujung tahun dia nak bertunang.

Cis. Aku lagi yang kena tinggal.

Oh, ini gambar syok sendiri.

Nanti aku upload banyak banyak gambar lepas kumpulkan semua.