I was just watching Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging for the 1870435th time. Towards the end, it makes me realize that Robbie guy, the hero, resembles someone. He reminds me of someone I thought I could forget, but apparently I couldn't.
Well, that's that.
I just discovered one new thing about me, not a good thing, though.
I hate being in the middle of a crowd.
I feel really exhausted when that happens. I think a lot about this lately. Well, people (read: family members and friends) say I'm a mood maker, I'm such a laugh, funny and all that, but the truth is, I despise it A LOT.
Being funny leads people to not taking you seriously, and that's happening to me now.
No one really asked me whether I'm fine, or not,
because they are used to that smile on my freaking face.
No one really asked how do I feel,
though I look perfectly normal.
People just don't know that I am not okay. I am really not okay. I am depressed. I feel empty.
I feel like half of me is dead, another half is dying. I am not okay.
That's a reason why I stop talking to some people.
I'm running away from them. I am running away from everything.
I'm not blaming people for not giving attention, I just hate being a clown for certain people.
I just hate it to death.
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