The problem with us people is, we tend to put so much concern on other people's business we need to ask what we've already seen by our own eyes.
If you see a lady wearing hijab, you don't have to ask if she's wearing hijab, because that is pathetically useless.
You just have to assume she's directing herself to a better path, and pray for her best.
I am sorry, but I'm a type of person who gets offended easily, so this thing gets me irritated with just one simple question. Because this is kinda overwhelming. You know, being asked with such questions makes me feel like I need to give people confirmation about me wearing one. And I don't want that.
You know me with my hijab wearing cycle, right? I kinda have this free-hair, covered hair cycle. So that kind of questions bugs me to the core. So if you knew me well enough, you won't be asking the question. Because if you do so, you're actually punishing me, psychologically.
I actually don't know until when will this last. I really hope that it's going to be until my last breath. I need to push myself, because I just realized that there's no such things like "Why should I wear it when I'm not sincere enough about wearing it?" because after all, its my responsibility to do so. Leave your sincerity to Allah, because only He can judge that. I'm no saint or even preacher, but if you think deeper, you'll get what I mean.
Plus, I no longer crying for attention, I don't want people to see me. So I just need to be very invisible.
And it's not like when I'm wearing one, means that I've changed, personality wise. I may need to adjust certain things like you know what, but I'm still the same person. I won't change, as long as you have faith in me.
This is no issue at all for all of you, but it really is for me.
My heart is fragile, I don't want this to affect any of my decisions, as well as it might affect the way I communicate with other people.
Please.
Just don't ask. Because words now, have a capability to kill me.
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