Kan dah terprint screen!

Right after the frustration over Asyraf Muslim's engagement. AHAHA

And this, absolutely made me smile.

Big wide smile. You know I could be miang at all time, aye?

We can be awesome at any age.

It’s not that I’m saying being friends to people younger than me is not good for health. But please, I’m tired of drama. I freaking am an adult. I don’t need drama. Neither do I need that happy ending any sooner. I’m fine with life ups and downs, but no, drama is just for teenagers, who have daddy issues or perhaps, self issues.

I am done with being teenager and clueless, where at one point, I thought it was cool to lay down on the grass and my own puke. I am done with being teenager and emotional, where I locked myself in bathroom, try to cut myself because of my good friends was hooking up with the guy I like.

I gave up all of those because I thought it would be nice if I start to learn how to act like an adult. Okay fine, being an adult may not be as good as it sounds. But you know, the point is, I can’t stand seeing bitchy life which is so nauseating. So people said, certain people might have difficulties in their life, so do I, but it is not a reason for you to affect others for heaven’s sake. If you find life is not promising as you thought it could be, work it that way. Just stop thinking it is going to please you all the way down.

So, if you see me walking away, that’s probably because I don’t want to hear anything about you and your stupid lovers, or you and your stupid life. I am not saying my life is perfect, in fact it is far from that, but you see, the difference between our lives is I don’t go and twist it around to survive.

It is not that cheap, I believe.

I am making my own point, but you perhaps might find it hard to understand, because your mind is thousand years younger than your actual age, which leads to the fact that I don’t think being friends with older people would make me any wiser, looking at certain circumstances.

Some of them just love drama they think they look cute living in one.

And I hate puppy love.

I just realized that I have triangle-shaped lips just as Riz have told me few days ago. And it reads, 'weird'. And not cute.

Okay, so that's random.

I feel like writing. After finishing the whole season 4 of Ugly Betty, again.

You know, I can't remember how does it feel to be in love. Not anymore. I seriously want to experience it again. All I can remember is the butterflies in the stomach and the silly grins. But those apparently are not enough. I forgot about the real feelings of it, the communications, the cute disagreements, the stances, the willingness to consider about another half, and what else I haven't mentioned.

It has been years and I have forgotten almost all about that. When people tell me about their girlfriend or boyfriend, when people update their status about their fiancé or husband or wife, when people celebrating their anniversaries, when people post up their pictures with the loved one, I just sat there, confused. Literally confused for I have failed to remember how good it was to feel that everyday in our life.

It is good to see people around me happy, and a bit jealous because I have yet to feel that, at least not for now. I never blame timing, let alone God, and not even surrounding, but it is certainly overwhelming, and bewildering when people come to me and ask, "Do you have a boyfriend now? No? Girlfriend? No?" It is not yet offensive, but should I be the one to blame for not having a what we called lover?

And this is all happening because something has reminded me about my real age. 24 is no longer an age to act trashy and rebellious. Not really an age to feel okay if you happen to end up being alone. Certainly not an age to feel convinced that one day, there will be a Prince Charming knocking up my door and ask me to marry him.

This is sick. I am not growing up. I instead walking backwards.

I have fallen in love before, but they were all silly crushes and the opposite responses never exist so you know what I mean, it doesn't count. And I feel really stupid for liking certain guys. They got no balls, proven by what they have done.

Merungut tu sama macam kau salahkan Tuhan.

Cepat lambat jodoh kan Tuhan yang tulis. Adatlah kalau nak meminjam dari Tuhan, sabar kena lebih. Makin lambat jodoh kau, makin banyak pahala sabar kau dapat. Rilek sudah.

Ini tak, nak suruh berusaha tu pun susah. Hari hari merungut kau tak ada boyfriend. Setiap kali jumpa kawan, "Weh, carikan aku boyfriend satu!"

Nama kau nak bergerak cari sendiri memang takda.

Memilih dah satu hal lagi. Nak yang handsome, tinggi, badan sasa, bergaya, baik hati, sayang kau lebih dari segalanya bla bla bla.

Tengok diri sendiri dekat cermin sikit pun tak nak.

Susah kalau merungut lagi banyak daripada tindakan.

Kau mandi bunga lah seratus kali pun, kalau setakat duduk tunggu orang meminang, sampai kiamat pun belum tentu ada orang nak. Sedih.

A story of a sociopath.

Hey, there are several things to say.

1. The closer I get to the date I'm going back to my hometown, the happier I get to be. Seriously.

2. Yes, we evolve. But things or people don't really stay. And that's rather sad.

3. I am seriously in need of cash. Boy, I failed as a daughter.

4. Look, I thought I love Twitter. But I actually don't. I no longer know the real function of it.

5. My shitty life is not moving. Everyone else's does. That is the shitty part of it.

6. Bitching is a new way to make friends. Try that, especially if you're a girl who has self issues.

7. Getting older is not funny anymore. Able to do practically everything is scary, dude.

8. I regret moving in together with my cousin. I should have not done that.

9. I am gonna get a cat, a fat cat, in May, for heaven's sake.

10. No, nothing about boys this time. Talking about men all the time makes me feel like a little whore.

Pictures, later. When I am in the mood.

Oh, pretending like things are okay when you know they aren't, sucks, big time. You don't have to be my anything if you don't want to. I am a grown woman, I can stand on my own. I don't need coward bastards to fake a smile, to ask me whether I'm okay or not just to feel good about themselves.

Because you've hurt me, not so long ago, remember?

And trying to make it up to yourself, is cheap. Seriously.

Bukan nak cakap aku ni baik.

Bukan nak cakap aku ni baik.

Tapi kalau tak silap mak bapak aku dah ajar daripada kecik mana yang betul mana yang salah.

Bukan nak cakap aku ni baik.

Tapi bukanlah aku ni bodoh sangat boleh tutup mata sahaja setiap benda yang jadi depan mata.

Bukan nak cakap aku ni baik.

Betul.

Aku memang bukan perempuan baik. Memang sudah sampai tahap langsung tak tau mana nak letak baiknya aku.

Tapi aku tahu bila masa perlu ada rasa hormat, dan bila masa hormat boleh hilang dalam sekelip mata. Tak kisah lah kalau kamu jauh tua, bahkan kalau kamu sepuluh tahun muda dari aku pun, aku tahu bagaimana nak hormat kamu.

Sekian terima kasih. Rasa hormat sudah hilang.

Masuk ni je dah berapa kali hal lu naik dalam blog gua. Kesian kan?

Entah lah, gua rasa pervert dengan desperado macam lebih kurang je function dia.

Okay, housemate gua cantik. Cantik gila masalahnya. Pastu, nama pun housemate, mesti lah saling ada Facebook masing-masing. Satu hari, housemate gua balik kerja,

"Tadi ada kawan kau, dia mesej dekat FB, dia kata macamgini, "Oh, awak kawan Nisa' ke? UIA jugak?" Kawan kau ke?"

Tak pernah ada pun orang yang kenal gua, panggil gua Nisa'. Nisa' pulak tu, kalau Nisa boleh tahan lah lagi. Tak puas hati, gua suruh dia tunjuk siapa. Rupa-rupanya, lelaki ni, jumpa gua baru sekali. Cakap dengan gua pun tak pernah. Lepastu pernah sekali sound gua dekat FB. Patut lah panggil Nisa. Nama gua pun belum tentu dia ingat.

Lepas tu buat-buat nak berkenalan pulak dengan housemate gua.

Buat-buat tanya guna nama gua, macam dah kenal gua dari bersunat lagi.

Cis, terus gua delete lelaki ni.

Gua suspek dia pergi stalk perempuan dekat wall FB gua, pastu jumpa mana berkenan,mesej nak berkenalan.

Sebab gua tengok, dia dengan housemate gua takde mutual friends pun kecuali gua.

Hadoi, nampak murah la situasi begini.

Tak, gua bukan jeles. Gua menyirap. Dulu, dia kutuk gua, tak patut punya padu. Dulu, dia suruh kawan gua kurus dulu kalau nak kapel dengan dia. Dulu, masa gua jumpa dia, gaya dia memang 'Aku lah Hero Malaya tu, korang tak tau ke?'

Sekali kalau gua dapat terajang tengkuk lu, memang lu kenyang seumur hidup la makan pakai straw.