Di mana terselitnya Khairunnisa itu?

O Prophet! when believing women come to you giving you a pledge that they will not associate aught with Allah, and will not steal, and will not commit fornication, and will not kill their children, and will not bring a calumny which they have forged of themselves, and will not disobey you in what is good, accept their pledge, and ask forgiveness for them from Allah; surely Allah is Forgiving, Merciful. 12:60


It's only February and I hate 2011 already. Haih.
Something is missing. You know, like you think you're fine, all is okay, but when you're alone, when everyone else is dreaming, you just sit and realize something is not there.

Do I need to change anything?
The truth is, I do. But I just don't know how to.

Came across Kak Maria's tweet. Said she wants to be a perfect Khairunnisa.

I am Khairunnisa. My name is Syafawati Khairunnisa.

But I am not sure I am Khairunnisa enough for myself. I don't know whether people can see the Khairunnisa in me. I want to be a perfect Khairunnisa too. I can be a Khairunnisa, I suppose. But I just don't know if I am able to do so. At least for now.

The phrase "sebaik-baik perempuan" as Khairunnisa means is really challenging. I've tried to be one, once. No, several times. But truthful is, I am not strong enough. I was demeaned by my own self.

Still, I am ashamed by the name I carry throughout my whole life. For not portraying the meaning of it. Of course.



4 days trip to Kampung. More photos are on their way.

No comments: