Gadis semasa tak semasa tak sangat la.

As I smoking SKL that actually tastes like some cheap mint sweets I don't know why I bought it in the first place anyway, I can't help but think when to start flirting again. It's been almost five years without even a single try. Oh, pardon my hormones. It's time, anyways.

I haven't tried anything, something like that, I don't know why. Never a guy came to me, and show his interest in me. That's just that. I am old fashioned, I don't know how to like, "Hey man, you caught my attention, lets be friends and we'll see how its going to be from there." That's just ridiculous.

I don't know, being single all this while, it's not that I don't want relationship, it's just the opportunity is never there. Heard few talks to calm my shit down, like, "Chill lah, there is someone out there, just for you." or "God created human kind in pair, so your turn will come eventually." and many more.

As for right now I may not be ready yet to have, you know, boyfriend, or lover, but what will happen in the future if this will continue for the hell long time? Like my cousin, Lye, she broke up with her boyfriend on the New Year Eve, and she said this to my mum,

"Sekosong-kosong air masak, kosong lagi hati Muni."

Try to feel that, for five years long.

I am confused. I am the only human being who is confused with what she actually wants in a relationship, I think. At one time, I really want it so bad, but in a snap of fingers, I don't want it at all. How la deyy?

Had a conversation with Nora today, we talked about her friend, a special friend. It made me so jealous mak oi. Jeles nak mampos. It has nothing to do with she has that, and I want that, too,

but I am fucking dry.