Except for Azee, because she's my pet.

So it was a real relief.

Tears somehow mean nothing, unless if people you love die. I was so frustrated yesterday, but am so calm today. I never felt this kind of feelings, where after brainwashed, I usually snapped back, because I have this bitch’s mouth, you see. But this time, people around managed to soothe me, with their convincing words of wisdom.

And one thing I come to understand now, true friendship is actually bullshit, at least for me. Because I might have this problem of elasticity, (I’d rather call it a problem) between my friends, that I believe came from my own self. Maybe, I am the one who possesses the real problem. I cannot get too attached.

I was too attached with my super duper best friend; Yana, she is now 7 feet underground.

I was too attached with my ex-super-best-friend-now-regular-friend; Mimin, she took my ex boyfriend whom I can’t get over with at that moment.

And recently, I was super attached with my former best friends, and things went wrong, there’s no chemistry between us, after couple of years, I bailed. I've never been taught how to worship people.

So I am now on my own, of course I have other friends around me, but I’d rather maintain this momentum and space. I’d rather have distance between us, (except for Azee, because she’s my pet) because I don’t want unwanted things to happen again.

I am happy to say I keep good relationships with these people, I don’t see them much, (except for Azee, because she’s my pet, and Hazeman, because he’s my dinner-cracker, and Monkey at this moment, because he’ll be gone by September, not sure if I’d ever see him again, so spending time with him didn’t get any kind of resistance from my parents.) but yes, friendship still have its value even though you don’t get to see them much.

It doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate them, it’s just they themselves don’t care about this obvious token of appreciation thingy. So we’re good with that.

But post-breakup get together last night was real awesome, when Sheima meets Nadal, you’ll die.

And Riz, I won’t repeat the one-year-abandonment friendship, because I am now FREE. And you stay be my number one boy.

Oh. No worries, I wasn't talking to anyone.