How to fix it? You don't have to.

At some point, I just don’t care.


Shared some stories with Hazeman aka Mama, my own Mama, (Monkey was there, but I pretended like he wasn’t, because, he’d laugh at almost words that came out from my mouth, that bitch.) yesterday. Stories about me back then, when I was in secondary school. My ‘golden’ age, where so many complications happened, so many foolish mistakes occurred. And Mama went blank, I asked “Why? Kenapa diam?” and he said, “No, aku tengah fikir. Things happened to people randomly.”


The real thing is Mama, now you know I am one unlucky bitch from the day I was born, until now for all my life. But I just don’t care.



Well, those stories are basically about how easy it is to fall in love and being dumped indirectly. One of them is the story about me and this one guy.


Let us call him Y. He and I were good friends. We spent most of our times together, lepak-ing, talking on the phone, sharing ciggies, getting drunk, that kind of activities. Later, you know, a girl like me, of course there would be something ‘weird’ to happen. And it happened. I fell in love with him, and he kind of felt the same way, I think. At least he said so.


So we sort of tied it in a different way, because he said he’s going to wait until I finish school, then we’ll make it official. I was so happy, because he was so gorgeous, sort of model-like (kalau tukar muka HAHA), with figure I could slurrrpppp all night long. Yes. I was that naïve.


Later I moved to Batu Pahat, changed school, and he moved to KL to follow his family. But we managed to keep in touch. I was one happy girl and was in love at that time.


But one day, I received news that totally took my world down. Y was caught (tangkap basah apa entah in English) with one girl that happened to be one of my friends. And they got married after that.


Painful, it was. Imagine, on what sin I’ve made to be punished like that? I was just a kid to be tested like that. But there’s no question to God now, because He knows best.


And now, after 6 or 7 years, I found him on Facebook. And we exchanged numbers. He’s now divorced with one daughter. We are now on our way to continue the long lost friendship. With no extended intentions of course. :P




You see, you may judge me just by looking at me selflessly. “She’s a bitch.” “She’s desperate.” “She’s a slut.” “She’s pathetic.” and all that. But what the hell, be in my shoes for one day and I bet you’ll feel like punching every face that passes in front of you because you surely can’t stand being me.


So yeah, this applies to other people as well, don’t judge people just because you don’t like them. Because your judgment reflects yourself. Your good personality must have lacked in certain parts.

God is fair enough to make this life unfair, just to teach His servants in His own unique way.

But to fuck I don’t actually care about your judgment, you know I’ll live happily based on it.