Tak tahan. Kena cakap jugak.
I am under pressure. Since the theatre thing, then shitloads of assignments, then this news. I cant get over things easily. You know that. I had fever for like one week, and still having it. My throat is about to explode, in any minute. I missed classes, when its only two weeks left to get ready for the fucking papers. I smoke like a horse. 10 cleaned boxes for one solid week because I have nothing else to do to calm myself down.
This is atrocious. If only I could turn back time. Hadeh la. It was a big mistake, confessing stupid things and let the whole world know stupid feelings I had inside, just to see it to be laughed at. And things were different now, and super complicated. And I cant do anything. Or at least every move and every word seems awkward. Awkward gila babi. I dont know how to react when it comes to this. I dont know if I should smile happily, or join the conversations, or make stupid faces, or even pretend to fall asleep.
It is not like I am not over that old thing, but you know, when it is happening in front of my eyes, and I have to hear people talking about it, I cant stop myself to feel this one weird feeling. More to awkward feeling. You know, when you cant get something, but other people near you can get it easily. The feeling towards that thing is what I meant. It is not jealousy. It is far from it. But you know, THAT feeling.
Haih.
I cant stand this awkwardness. It is ruining me. Nak balik kampung nanges dekat ibu pun dah tak sempat dah.
Seriously people, dont shit where you eat. You will end up stuck in between.
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