Eh lah kau ni.

Bodoh, we are bound to make mistakes in this life kot.

But bodoh plus one, we're not supposed to make silly mistakes,

intended mistakes or mistakes that you know you're gonna pay back for later.

You know what's the real meaning of stupid?

People who still make mistake when they clearly know the consequences of it.

I am not holy, but I know, even mistake has its own limit.

Nak kena tampar ke?

Awkward girl and her surrounding.

I need to fuel up my car tank, but I need to post about something now, first.


I've been living in Sintok since two weeks ago. Though I no longer need to attend classes, I need to see my supervisor constantly after she rejected my proposal cis I think I might need to extend one more semester. Though its is fine since its not really affect my study duration, and I can start working right after I've done my proposal defense, but still... and life here, its like hell.

Good God, I desperately need to be less sombong, or unfriendly maybe. I tried to approach people before this, really, but in the end, it become more awkward and I, who can't stand awkwardness will cut any kind of communication on the spot. What's the wrong la this is woi?



Can someone please tell me how to become friendlier, please?

The Couples

My two favorite girls are married.

One is my ultra best friend, Ijat, the one in purple.

Another is Lye, my ultra cousin, the one in yellow.

It is kinda late to post about Ijat's wedding, since it was three months ago, and she's already pregnant at the moment, but still, she's my favorite girl. And Lye's wedding was held last two weeks.

And this makes me ponder about something.

Everyone around me is really settling down.

Though me and Ijat, we don't have enough memories compared to what I have with Lye, we have our own bubble. What I share with Ijat is rather special, I could not let her go no matter what.

And with Lye, I spent half of my childhood with her, and there's a space filled by her in my adulthood. She was really there whenever I'm up or down, and she still is.

Now, they are married.

I am super happy.

More people are getting married, and I am pleased to eat more lauk kenduri.

After all, nothing to feel regret about actually.

Should I write about this? No, I shouldn't.

But yes, because I don't have anyone else to talk to about this.

Everyone is little tired of the story of my past.

Today, part of me said that I shouldn't have opened my Facebook.

A little regret, knowing that I myself often get too carried away over unnecessary things.

My then best friend and my only ex-boyfriend got engaged last two days.

The day has arrived.

I kept having this weird feelings when I see the photos. But nope, not negatively.

Maybe because of the history of all this.

Thinking about it, what have I done?

Why did I hate them back then?

What did they do to me, really?

Why did I keep that hatred towards them for years, when all they did was loving each other normally like other people do?

Why can't I let them go and just move on?

These, make me want to knock myself so hard, I should have been more understanding about them dating. I regret myself for being so childish and selfish. And the only people who's losing is me, actually.

If only I could turn back time, I would just endure the pain that eventually will fade away, just like now and keep her as my best friend. It wont be so hard, I guess.

But yes, If I didn't let her go, I won't have the life I have now, I wouldn't have more awesome best friends whom I cannot lose till the day I die. That, somehow is another good side of it that I should not let pass.

And after 4, 5 years, I really hope this is not a useless thing to say. I really hope the day will eventually come and they will live happily as husband and wife.

Congratulations Mimin and Ebi, from the bottom of my heart.