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Nonetheless, I am really really glad that there's always a positive vibe around me. It is good to know that I am somehow at my calmest. (Yes, no?)

The only thing that bugs me right now is, I never get satisfied with my eating here. I am a person who loves to eat. I'd rather eat and look fat, than go on diet and still don't lose weight. And I'd rather spend my money on good food, than buying expensive clothes. Yes, I am that person.

And living in this rural-est area, makes my tummy sad. It is not that hard to find food, but it is hard to find good food. I don't think people would love to stay here, one, because of the place, yes lame, but I don't mind that. Two, because of the food. Unless you're skinny model who doesn't care about food and loves to throw up in a toilet bowl, and plus, does not really care about entertainment, you'll suit here.

I eat proper food twice a week, proper here means rice and all that. Nasi ayam or nasi kerabu. Only those two. I'll buy them at the nearest cafe, and eat it in my room. Except when the girls ask me to join dinner. But most of the time, I'll eat Maggi, or crackers, or bread with tuna, because I just simply can't accept the food here.

And you should know that I cried after every conversation over the phone with my mum.

One, because I am gedik like that.

Two, because talking to her reminds me about her cooking.

And now, I am gonna cry again.

And my tummy is gonna cry too.

My brother said, "Tu ujian la tu, selama ni Tuhan bagi kau makan sedap sedap, sekarang dia nak tengok pulak kau cemana bila makan tak sedap."

Lady Sk said, "InsyaAllah ada hikmahnya nanti."

And Puan Shikin said, "Makan la, jangan bagi ibu susah hati."

Ya Allah, why of all things, this small issue of food is the hardest?

Help me, Allah.

Sounds ungrateful, aye?

I know.

And no, I don't want to get skinnier. I just want nasik, for God's sake.