One thing I learn about marriage. Or jodoh specifically.
Its all about qada' and qadar.
You can never know that you're going to marry your best friend.
You can never know that you're going to marry your ex-boyfriend four years after the breakup.
You can never know that you're going to marry someone after few months knowing him/her.
You can never know that you're going to marry someone over a one month decision.
But also.
You can never know that your fiance is going to break the engagement a day before ijabkabul.
You can never know that your husband/wife is going to die few days after ijabkabul.
You can never know that how long your marriage is going to last.
No matter how hard you try to keep it up.
And whether you are well-prepared or not.
Its not that I'm giving bad impression, saying getting married is just a waste, but you know, everything is destined, by someone up there. Everything can happen. So there's really no point whining. Whether it's late or early, whether it last or not, only God knows why He set that up for you.
Have a little faith.
But that also answers the popular question, why everyone else is getting married and you're not?
On the other hand, it's been two months since I last wrote. I've lost my muse, truthfully. Apart from being so busy completing my final (my own version of final) semester, I've lost my muse to write. Though there're so many things happened during the hiatus, I couldn't find the will, the excitement, the urge to write. But yes, since I'm on three four five months holiday, I think I better start writing again.
So many things happened my fingers are going to bleed till death from typing.
Showing posts with label senyum sikit. Show all posts
Showing posts with label senyum sikit. Show all posts
Bandung dan keselesaan yang terbawa.
I just got back from the second visit to Bandung.
It was, beyond awesome.
Awesome because of so many reasons.
One, because I've got to know some new friends.
Two, because 6 days were spent without any regret.
Three, because every money spent brought a smile on my face.
Four, because there are series of shocking new things.
And five, because behind everything that I saw, there's always something to learn about.
I tried living just like them, tried to blend in with the social interaction, I even tried things I never wanted, or even thought I'd be doing it in my life. So I had fun in everything that actually lacks, that I myself would arrogantly avoid to do if I were in my own country.
Guess the thought that people survive no matter what, is true. Freaking true.
This visit actually was for my thesis, because I'm writing on a comparison between them and us Malay in terms of our English. So for that, I've got to learn more about their social culture, of course to relate it with the English language in their country.
Along with that, I met new friends, and what makes it interesting is how they treat us as the outsiders. Not sure whether it is really their culture of welcoming new people inside their circle, but it was really, different. Never in our social circle, I have ever felt that way. It was the first time of my life.
Still, even for the second time, I just cant stop myself from feeling that something in my heart that is losing.
It breaks my heart to see how they face every limitation in order to survive.
It breaks my heart seeing them not being able to enjoy the life like I am in right now.
And for all of it, the thing that really broke my heart is when they said that what really matters is today instead of tomorrow, the opposition of what I've taught myself in this life, which is to chase every tomorrow and leave behind whatever today brings.
And I respect them as they taught me so many things behind every sincere smile and laugh. Allah bless them all.
No photos, as I was busy chasing life.
I love weddings!
Last Sunday, it was the solemnization of my baby girl, Nadal. I didn't manage to go to the ceremony, as I arrived in KL a bit late the night before.
Stunning one more time, and the pelamin is super comel!
It was beautiful, I almost couldn't believe my baby girl is now someone's wife, she's the earliest among us who got hitched first. Even I almost cried when I read the tweets by other girls who attended her solemnization. I fell in love with her wedding dresses, both for solemnization as well as for reception. She looked really beautiful, she's such a doll.
And photos taken from Wani's and Nana's and Ajie's FB.
Her dress's stunning!
Stunning one more time, and the pelamin is super comel!
Remember us? Me, Nana and Ain and their boyfriends. Yes, the groom is Nana's kid brother. And she and her boyfriend is next in line.
These are my super best friends from left Ajie, Sheima, Nana, Me, Ain and Ijat.
Comel kan Hazeman? Macam nak siku.
Congratulations baby! Though you're someone's wife now, you'll always be my baby. I love you.
Bandung, and a hole in my heart.
A view from inside of the angkot, one of public transportations in Bandung,
in the middle of crazy traffic, of course.
And if you can see me in the rear mirror, trying to seduce pakcik angkot.
So yes, this is a post about Bandung.
Too bad I don't have many photos, because we're busy doing some recordings for Sheima's vlog, so I'll just wait for that.
Forget about what we did there during our vacation (you know us girls, Bandung, what else?), I want to talk about the other side of Bandung. I don't really have the correct suitable word for the place. But there's something different about the place. Despite its bad traffic and quite number of populations, I love Bandung because of its weather, the people there, the food (yes, the food!), and the ambiance.
The weather was so good I don't mind living there, its chilly but yet not too cold, even if its sunny.
The people are so nice, ramah-tamah level 16 Zuma.
And the food, the food, ya Allah. I can't stop thinking about their Teh Botol and Es Campur.
But one thing about Bandung, or maybe Indonesia that makes me wonder, is their youth waste.
I'm not saying this in a negative way, but it was sad to see perfect-healthy-probably-smarter-than-I-am teenagers busking at those traffic lights and road junctions. It was also sad seeing kids selling rocks (for the love of God, rocks), newspapers (one kid approached me and said, "Teh, beli korannya teh, buat nambah uang beli buku.") and stuff like that just to get money. They'd do anything to survive the poverty. My heart aches, until now.
Maybe it is due to overpopulation stuff or whatever, but the differences between one caste to another is really obvious we've never seen it anywhere in Malaysia, I swear to God. I feel bad that I sometimes look down on those immigrants, I've failed to remember there's another set of life lower than theirs back in their country, what they do to survive while I, enjoying my life bit to bit without having to worry about money I spend, about time I waste doing nothing and that saddens me to the freaking core.
So yes, that's one thing I won't forget about Bandung. The impact of seeing what I've just wrote above teaches me whole lot, like super I won't ever get it out of my mind. And I appreciate Bandung for that.
I am so gonna go to Bandung, again. In fact, I've bought tickets to Bandung, this April.
This time around, screw shopping, I'm gonna go get another meaning of life.
I actually smirk whenever I smile, no? Tsk.
Photos from Awai's and Nana's FB.
Too lazy to write during holidays, what I did was sleeping, eating, non-stop Indonesian channels on Astro as well as online streams, more eating, like that.
So last week I went to Johor Bharu for Awai's wedding, she looked so pretty in her dress I felt like munching her. I spent one day before at Sheima's house so went to the kenduri together.
The good thing is, I got to see my two best friends, Ain and Nana at the kenduri, it was good to sit down as a whole though it was only few hours. I have this instinct that 2012 is gonna be very awesome because Ain is in UKM for her Master, Nana's already working in Ampang, and I'm gonna stay in KL to finish my thesis insyaAllah. Cool, innit?
New semester is right in the corner, got an unpleasant news about my result that is coming out next week. Think I'm definitely gonna flunk a paper or two. And I am shitless scared at the mo.
Told my mom about it, this is what she said,
Me: "Kalau ada fail, adik nak berhenti belajar."
Mom: "Rilek la, baru fail sekali. Selagi tak kena buang..."
Oh yes, I think these two Indonesian movies, Di Bawah Lindungan Kaabah and Hafalan Shalat Delisa are worth watching. Because both have three important elements, God & Religion, Society and where do we stand in between these two.
Now I know being fat is actually not that bad. You become so bold everyone wants to say something about you, be it good things or bad things.
Persatuan Mak Cik - Mak Cik Saudara dan Ibu Tua.
That's Arfan Nadiff. Amzar Nufail and Addin Naufal's little brother. On my left is their mother, Kakak. This photo was taken few weeks ago, during Arfan's cukur jambul ceremony.
And that's the first time I was given full confidence to handle a baby. And yes, he was with me the whole time, even the day before. Now please someone say I can be a mother, please? *kibas kibas bulu mata*
Tetunangan.
Okay lah since my eyes are still wide open, I'm gonna write a post about engagements. Gonna scram all the photos of three engagements of my super duper best friend, my super duper cousin and my super duper brother. Let's start with my super duper best friend,
Ijat & Daus
December 17th, 2011.
It was the simplest engagement ever, but sweet, of course.
Now its only five months before their wedding (June 16th, 2012), I am super excited.
You looked really gorgeous that day, sayang.
After all you've been through, I see the presence of your future husband, si Tunang Udang,
is Allah's pay for your patience and hopes.
Lye & Lie
January 1st, 2012
I really love her hantarans and the dress, of course.
Also, the simplest and easiest engagement procedure, ever.
The wedding will be on November 10th, this year, a month after my brother's.
I pray for Allah to bless your marriage, love.
Abang & Ijat
December 25th, 2011.
I didn't get to join because I was so busy with final assessment and stuff.
But yes, the solemnization will be on October the twelfth, this year. InsyaAllah.
I pray for your jodoh to last till the end of time, Nyet.
I'm always in need of more casually serious conversations.
I was chatting with Adik last night early in the morning (how dat, yo?) when suddenly ‘achievement’ popped out in our discussion out of nowhere.
While he said he wants to work hard and save money and enjoy every cent he deserves to spend, I slowly build my own thinking. Well I think everyone thinks like what he is thinking, including me. Who doesn’t want to be rich, you kidding me? But I might want to adjust the word ‘enjoy’ there a little bit.
For me, being rich is one thing, but not everything. I am still fine if I’m not going to be rich for the rest of my life. Not that I am okay with being poor, but you know, I’m fine if I can’t splurge myself with things that are going to cost me fortune. I’m fine with the idea of having enough to live this life just like normal people do. Yes, I just don’t mind not being rich. What I have now, is basically enough.
Of course I get jealous with friends who can get almost everything they want in their life. But no, spending money on something that won’t last a lifetime, that’s just not me. You can ask my friends, I don’t buy expensive things, I don’t eat expensive food, I don’t live a high living standard. Yes, even if I have money to do so.
Clothes that I’m wearing cost me no more than 10 bucks, for heaven’s sake.
I care more about meaning of life. I care more about what I have and others don’t. That sentence sounds really vain, but what I mean is I care about unfortunate people who actually deserve to be happy like me, but they don’t have a chance to feel the same. I care about what is not enough for me, and for them.
Well some people do mock me when I talk about this, but I don’t give a damn because I bet none of them care about simple details in their life while I do acknowledge every tiny little thing happened in my life.
For example, a call for my mother everyday.
Or maybe, an ‘Assalamualaikum’ for a cleaner lady.
Better yet, a smile for everyone I see when I’m on my way to class.
I know not everything matters in our life, but what’s the point living a life if it’s always about us? Being busy looking for something to make a life is important, yes. But why not looking for the sake of doing something to other people around you? And of course, life is not about pleasing others but you’ll get what I mean with the ability to reach self-satisfaction when you do good things for others.
I’m fine with the Adik’s idea just now, don’t get me wrong. But I personally think that I might want to put that idea aside from me myself, and proceed with searching for real meaning of life thing.
I want to do something that is beneficial for me, and also others. I want to give something to people so it can change their life.
I love my life; I want everyone else to feel the same way towards their life, too. And that’s a real achievement. May Allah open a way, InsyaAllah.
More kahwins
On the bright side, everyone deserves a happy ending.
Everything becomes so clear right now, clear as in everything runs smoothly as far as I am concerned.
Last few days, during Raya Haji celebration, my family and I went to my brother's future fiancee's house for 'merisik' things. Everything went well, Alhamdulillah, they are getting engaged soon.
On the same day, my cousin Lye experienced the same thing too, her future fiance and his family came to her house, also for 'merisik' thingy. And they are getting engaged too, right after my brother's engagement.
On the same day, my super best friend received a news. A good one obviously, I just can't reveal it now, because its supposed to be a secret, but I wanted to do a little teaser, but yes, gonna reveal it as soon as it is confirmed.
Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah ya Allah.
And more marriages coming along this next few days, and next year.
It would be Wani's, Nadal's, Fatin's, Awai's and insyaAllah lots more.
Marriage is a major part of religion, I am glad these people I love are moving towards completing the half part of our religion. May their marriage be blessed, may their future family become sakinah, mawaddah and warahmah. InsyaAllah.
Kahwin itu mengingatkan aku tentang manusia dan keikhlasannya, ikhlasnya melawan zina, ikhlasnya menerima tanggungan, ikhlasnya meneruskan cinta, dan ikhlasnya menjunjung kedewasaan. InsyaAllah.
On boys and commitment. Gila kau.
Whenever I get to see my girls, the ultimate topic of our discussion is basically about, hmm...
boys. Yes, boys.
And because all the bitching, gossiping, bahan-ing each other tell us one thing. Boys are difficult, though it is always the same pattern, they still are difficult.
Oh, I have so many engagement ceremonies and wedding to attend next year. Boy, that is definitely a sign.
Mesti akan ada orang ingat aku pengkid punya lah lepasni.
Okay, rambut baru. Keputusan secara tiba-tiba sebab aku dah janji nak potong rambut 2013, tetapi akibat serangan rambut gugur yang tidak putus-putus, aku beralah.
Tiada jodoh dengan rambut panjang. Sedih memang sedih namun pasrah saja lah.
Oh, Kuala Terengganu best tetapi makanan sumpah mahal aku rasa dah ramai tokey dekat Terengganu tu naik haji. Seronok sebab jumpa kawan satu universiti, duduk dalam bilik aircond sedap gila rasa tanak keluar, gelakkan adik aku sebab ex girlfriend dia ada sekali secara kebetulan (or mungkin tak kebetulan sangat kot?), terlalu banyak vespa berkeliaran aku naik geram, serta pergi melawat masjid kristal. Cantik.
Gambar nanti lah. Kerana di malam hening ini, internet sungguh bitch.
Okay bai.
And that's why God forbids suicide.
My cousin told me few days ago, her ex-colleague jumped off an apartment and died after she came back from her boyfriend's funeral.
That was scary.
I remember when I was in difficult times, I love to jump in the train, and just sit in there while it brought me from the beginning of the route until the end, and stay in there for few rounds before jump out of the train.
I love to see people, old people, pregnant women, couples and kids and wondering what's inside their head, what are they thinking, like how many suffer they've been through, and what makes them happy.
I failed to do so every time, of course, because I was so busy thinking about myself. But it did helped. It relieves me every time I get to see people's face. I do know that might not work on some of us, but that works on me. At times, I got jealous, you know, looking at moms smiling at their kids, couples holding hands and things like that, because they're so happy based on the looks on their face. But most of the time, I always blame my judgment that I forgot to realize there's always different side of every story.
Like who knows behind every smile, there's pain of failed marriage, or pain of broken family, or pain of losing someone or pain itself literally, from serious disease that the person might have.
And those survival smiles are really beautiful, indeed.
Since then, I learn to change my perception towards certain things. I know not all kind of pain can be avoided. But what is important for us human being is to accept things that frustrate us and turn them into lessons that teach us that this is life.
And this requires time, a lot of time, I agree. But once you're there, you'll taste the sweetest relief in the world. Just hold on to it. Have faith.
And that's another reason why God forbids suicide, because you won't feel the relief once you've done with the pain if you kill yourself before anything.
Make sense, right?
Dah dekat dah ni. Dah dekat dah.
Yang blur tu Tok Kadi yang datang masa Ain nikah hari tu.
Kannnnnnnnnnn?
Kalau tak dapat Tok Imam, Tok Mudim. Tak dapat Tok Mudim, Tok Kadi pun okay.
(pengsan Kak Ikin japgi ni kang)
Abang tukang tangkap gambar ni macam tau tau je tsk tsk tsk.
Selamat Hari Ayah!
This was during Raya 2009.
Happy Father's Day, Mohamed B. Omar.
No one could win over you in any competitions in my heart.
You are my hero, you are my savior.
I am so glad I am the ONLY daughter you have.
I might kill my sisters if I have any just to stay being your only one.
I don't want to share you with anyone else.
I love you, Ayah.
There's a reason why God invented pain.
"Could it be worse?" - Coldplay, Fix You
This song has never failed to remind me there's always something to hold onto whenever you feel like your life is on the edge. There's always something.
I always believe the theory of letting things go for its own good is actually giving them a chance to come back to us. No matter in what way they might come back. Because in the end, we all get what we deserve. No matter how hard life beats you, no matter how worse your journey ends up, and no matter how difficult people treat you, if you take those as chances to fix your own life, believe me, you have nothing to complain about in the next 20 years.
I know it's easy to say things when you don't feel the pain, but learn to play strong all along, you'll get used to it, sooner or later.
If you believe in qada' and qadar, you'll realize there's always hikmah behind every plan, then redha will become more ikhlas, and God will show you the way, InsyaAllah.
This post is for some of my closest friends, some of them are having a hard time at this particular moment. Should they know, there's always a reward for their patience.
Persatuan Perempuan Nakal.
I have two favorite siblings in the world. No, not the twins.
The older sister is my best friend, the younger one is the one I'd love to bully, but apparently I am the one who has always been bullied.
This is their picture.
The kakak is on the left, the adik is on the right.
Eating out with them, is awesome.
Bundle-hunting with them, is awesome.
Skype conferencing with them, is awesome.
Crap-talking with them, is super awesome.
Why settle for one best friend when you can make two out of the package?
They are my dolls.
Kemain lagi kawen ni ha.
Nikah
Bersanding
Bertandang
Earlier this month, one of my closest cousins, Ain, got married to the love of 7 years in her life (and still counting), Fadhlee.
I remember their first date, back then when he's not yet her boyfriend, she brought me along, because I lived in Johor Bahru circa 2006, as well as the guy. Funny thing about it, at first, she didn't like him back then, and he's obviously the opposite. That's the only thing I keep repeating whenever I want to tease my cousin.
Not long after that, I was told that they're dating. And until last year, they've decided to get engaged. And the wedding came in the following year, which is this year.
It was beautiful. The ceremonies were really beautiful. It was kind of special. Being in all of the ceremonies gave me kinds of feelings, happy of course, sad at the same time, and of all, stunned. I don't know why. I've been to hundreds of weddings, but this was the once that touched me so much. Maybe because she's among my very closest (you know how close I am to my cousins) relatives. I kept asking questions to her, like how's that feeling, and she said, in summary, "Relieved, and most of all, extraordinarily loved."
Beautiful.
It taught me a lot, because there's a lot that takes two person to love each other, however it makes hardships and obstacles look so easy to be faced. And a lot of other stuff.
Both of Lye and Jijo are getting married next year, I've heard the news already. I can't wait to organize the hen parties! I am so excited, and bewildered too.
It's nice to know that all four of us are growing up according to the plan.
Note : One thing I love about wedding is, not the food, not the colors, but the veil. I just don't know why. I go to wedding just to see the bride's veil. Funny isn't it?
Photo credits to Ain's photographer.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)