I can hate you like no one else could.

I really hate it when certain memories come kicking back in.

Especially the ones I always refused to remember.

I know times like this will come around every once in awhile, but you know,

there's really no point.

Because its never gonna change anything.

For you (who shall not be named), I'm fine with you coming back just to check whether I've changed or still like I used to be, a hard headed pathetic young lady. But just so you know, coming back here now means it is you who can't stand not knowing anything about me at all.

So yes, my pleasure.

The Twitter Series.

The thing is, I'm getting bored with Twitter. Why? There's just too much unnecessary tweets from those people. I just don't want to cause any misunderstanding, so I don't delete them la because they are my friends nanti cakap "Syapa bajet bagus" pulak.

But truthfully, no one wants to see your tweets every 2 seconds.

I tweet about stupid things too, but no, not every 2 second.

And I do tags reply with friends, but not constantly, and not all can see the tweets.

So last few days Hafidz taught me how to hide those people's tweets without them knowing it. I think its very the very brilliant I don't have to see those tweets particularly about those curahan hati , kutuk mengutuk , and other stupid things. Double bluergh.

You can use Slipstream too if you're facing the same problem like mine. But only if you use web browser. This can't be applied to those smartphone users.

And now, I am in love with Twitter again.

And if you're on Twitter too and following me obviously, you can always Slipstream me if you think I tweet too much. No hard feelings.

I normally would just back off, kot? Why waste time?

Some people just never get the hint.

So that's the problem.

We live in a community that base everything in hidden meaning. Good thing about that, we can always save our own ass. Bad thing about that, people often fail to get the hint.

Some people (refer above) need to be told when to realize the real meaning of one's saying, or even action. It is not that hard, really. You're not that dumb to realize when people are not comfortable with you. And note this, there's always a reason. Don't be so frustrated and say, "Oh he/she hates me, I don't know why," or "I don't know, he/she seems not really comfortable with me, I wonder why," and stuff like that because that is so yes, annoying. You're supposed to know why people distant themselves from you. Please. If you still don't have a clue, then ask the fug out. I never respect bimbos, since forever.

Pity.

Buttheads can never think properly, I think.

I have this sense that there's gonna be an endless discussion pertaining to this thing. At least here in my blog.

Not to say that I'm a saint or a preacher, but God, please let these humans know that somehow, each and everyone of us should be respected, no matter what.

"Oh, kau dekat mana ni?"

"Dekat atas katil, nak join ke?"

And numbers of conversation just like this.

Seriously, what the fudge?

Please note that both participants share different genders. And you may guess which participants said which sentences.

So yes, I get it, you're joking. But what the hell are you thinking exactly? That ain't no joke, dude. No.

I am not being sexist, but as an individual, I don't appreciate this as much as I don't appreciate sexual abuse. Because it is one kind of it actually, if you notice.

I don't care if you're a friend, or someone that I knew, (no, not relative because that'd be very very sick) but you know there's always a limit when it comes to joking, or teasing. Please try that kind of joke on someone else, I don't know if they can accept it as a joke really, but not me, I am full of dignity, I don't talk shit like that with random people.

Yes, okay, I do joke about dirty things, but only with close friends, but hell no, I don't go beyond the limit, it was for laugh only and never in my awareness someone has changed their perception towards me because I'm full of dirty things. You can go and ask my bitches if you want to.

I am mad. I am very very mad about this stupid perversion.

Please, act like adult. Adults may like dirty things, but real adults don't talk dirty to other people. It may look fun to you, but believe me, not more than you yourself may agree with you thoughts.

Barney Stinson is awesome yes, but no, that's just a fictional character, don't bring it to life. Please. Do not ever think that you'll be as awesome as he is, in reality.

To be continued.

Bukan nak cakap aku ni baik.

Bukan nak cakap aku ni baik.

Tapi kalau tak silap mak bapak aku dah ajar daripada kecik mana yang betul mana yang salah.

Bukan nak cakap aku ni baik.

Tapi bukanlah aku ni bodoh sangat boleh tutup mata sahaja setiap benda yang jadi depan mata.

Bukan nak cakap aku ni baik.

Betul.

Aku memang bukan perempuan baik. Memang sudah sampai tahap langsung tak tau mana nak letak baiknya aku.

Tapi aku tahu bila masa perlu ada rasa hormat, dan bila masa hormat boleh hilang dalam sekelip mata. Tak kisah lah kalau kamu jauh tua, bahkan kalau kamu sepuluh tahun muda dari aku pun, aku tahu bagaimana nak hormat kamu.

Sekian terima kasih. Rasa hormat sudah hilang.

Truth be told.

I look back into our memories and still I cannot find me inside those. I now with open heart, let you go for good. Because the truth is, I no longer think that I can see us heading to the same path. I just realized that I am fine with you not around.

I miss us terribly, but it still can't change anything. I tried to pretend that I don't miss you, and it ruined most of the things in my life.

I wish you all the joy in life. I wish, I really wish.

Ahh, again.

Oh My God.

You see, what I really want is to meet new people and start new things with them. But, seeing someone or something from the past coming back to my life is not something that I wish for.

Perhaps you might say it is good not to leave you past behind, but I'd rather save some space for future than being stuck with things that I don't really appreciate. I don't mind if they are just passing by, but to stop by and say hello, I am not sure about that.

I swear with my own name, I won't take back what I've thrown away, unless I'm not over it. Unless it's worth trying again. But right now, I feel like slapping my own past for being such an ass.

Its good to have you around. But believe me, its better not having you at all.

Happy Friendship Un-Declaration Day! (Please don't say anything about any error.)

This is an advertisement : Do not manipulate others for your own benefit. Because you know, people do leave when they realized it's no longer worth it.

I don't know. I always have things with friendship. I mean, there are types of friendship if you must let me explain.

First : "Hello, do you still remember me? No? Really?"

Second : "Hey, come on, we're friends, right? Can I borrow your _____ ?"

Third : "I'll always be there, love. But will you be there, too?"

Me? I can be all. Seriously. But it depends. But mostly I am number three. I am depending on my best friends. Emotionally. My best friends are the ones who can deal with my emotion craps.

I don't really care about other things. I don't look at wealth, let alone at looks. I don't look at popularity, let alone coolness.

But anyways, my best friends are all awesome. Why?

Because they are themselves when they're around me. And I am me when I'm around them. I don't have to pretend anything, just to make them happy, neither do they, they don't have to pretend just to make me happy.

I don't mind their crappy jokes about me, because they don't care about me not holding back my words whenever I am talking to them, because we know, the respect is still there.

I'd always be there whenever my best friends need me, because I know they'll be there too when I am in need. Not only with text messages or phone call. They'd actually be there. Sitting next to me.

That's what I called real friends. Thank you very much.

To you, what we have now is not a friendship. We used to have one long time ago, but now, it's just, no, I don't know what to call it anymore. I hope you don't mind. Maybe we're not destined to be a real good friends any longer.

Buat hal lah kau ni.

I may no longer have the power to curse and swear, but that wouldn't really stop me from smashing some faces, if I want to.

Firstly, you have deleted me from your friends list, virtually as well as in reality. I am fine with that, because I know a coward just can always talk way too much, and later find so many reasons to save his/her own ass. I am used to that.

The act of deleting me from your friend list as if you don't want me to know anything about you, really makes me want to puke. Funny thing is, you're the one here reading things I wrote. Not that I don't allow you to read my blog, I know you've been waiting for a post that specially dedicated to you. But what makes me damn frustrated is that I still don't have the opportunity to slap your face several times, for messing with me, my friends as well as for that big mouth you have.

Seriously, get over yourself. I don't miss you that much. And believe me, I know it's you. I no longer wait for you to say things you're supposed to say. I know you're always like that. A little coward. Go cry your ass off, that is all you could do.

Bitch Beat

So okay, some people are really really selfish, the only thing they care about is how to save their own ass. So lets say, when you're trapped in one situation, particularly not a good one, which clearly caused by you,

you, as referring to this kind of people, have the tendency to twist back the stories, just to make sure you are not the one who should be blame. And then, blame other people like it's not their fault. The hell is happening to people nowadays?

I don't know, this must be some kind of desperation.

I don't have time to enjoy this kind of entertainment. Seriously, I am allergic to Drama. Please. If you want to find something you want to play with, please don't choose fire you'll end up burnt. If you are an emotional/disturbed person, please believe they are millions of less-fortunates in this world compared to you. If you think living around me would only cause mess, please get the hell out of here.

I never give a damn about other people who'd never give any damn about me.

Oh please, I envy you... NOT. No I don't want your boyfriend neither I want anything from you.

Menggelabah tetek.

From pride to shame, aye?

Mampos muka kau.

And dear friends, that is why I don't do random friendships on Facebook.

Seriously, is there any decent guy left?

“Bitch, I am old and mature enough to talk about sex. Not that I like to talk about sex, I can talk about sex I am fucking 23 you dumb whore. It’s just I don’t want to, especially with a random guy like you. Don’t think I am old-fashioned if I think sex should be in the second, third or fourth place.

I think sex is good, sex is something we human being need in our life. Sex can be romantic, or kinky it depends on how we want it to be. Sex can be meaningful, as well as meaningless it depends on the purpose for you to have it in the first place.

But dude, I still believe in my religion. Please. You talked like you’re some sort of person who doesn’t believe God exists. Come on. So what if I don’t want sex to happen before I get married? Is it considered unethical or something? Just because you look at me as if I am the greatest bitch in my era, you see me as one cheap slut you can like drag me to a corner and nail me like a motherfucker?

And I still cannot believe, of all girls, me, with flat boobs and tons of fat? You must be really desperate.

But yes, it’s not saying of mine that you can do that to other girls. That’s not cool. Sex before marriage is not cool, for fuck sake, neither dirty talking to a stranger.

Try masturbation, I heard it’s good.

At least until you found the right one to put a ring on her finger. Lame, I know, but somehow, losing your virginity before you get married, it’s not something you should be proud of.”

Talking scumbag’s loss of self-respect.

Dengan nama Allah yang Maha Pengasih lagi Maha Penyayang.

Jangan amalkan sikap, “_____ bukan apa, nak cakap je. Tapi _____ rasa tak elok macamgitu.” (Oh, baca dengan nada paling sinis.)

Hati kau memang tak elok.

Aku tau sebab apa jadi macamgini, sebab aku hidup dari awal memang senang. Sampai satu masa aku susah, aku belajar.

Tapi kau, kau dari awal hidup susah. Orang tolong. Sampai satu masa kau hidup senang. Kau pernah belajar, tapi kau lupa.

Tak semua orang nak kau masuk campur, tak semua orang nak kau bagi pendapat. Aku sikit pun tak masuk campur hal kau, apa lagi kalau nak kacau harta kau.

Jangan. Jangan. Kau darah daging aku. Aku junjung kau dekat atas kepala, jangan bagi aku ungkit satu apa pun.

Jangan. Jangan mula.

Benda-benda macamgini lah kadang-kadang buat aku malas nak bercampur dengan keluarga besar. Aku serba hina. Semua orang lain elok. Orang ini sopan, baik. Orang ini pandai, cerdik.

Aku. Aku ada apa? Aku perempuan tak senonoh macam anak kau. Aku pun tak pandai macam anak kau. Aku tak pernah kisah nak jaga nama mak bapak macam anak-anak kau jaga nama kau. Maka benci lah engkau dengan aku.

Dan maka dengan itu lah, tidak akan ada apa-apa lagi urusan antara kita. Tidak kira lah sekuat manapun pertalian darah, kita kini, tidak ada apa-apa.

Oh, satu lagi. Jangan jadi tukang cucuk, atau batu api. Kau dah tua.

Jiwang dan kesannya.

So yesterday, Sunday, I spent my time watching 4 romance movies, straight. And continuously after that, I've been reading random blogs about love, romance, affection and all related. And then, something happened, to me. I had all this lovey-dovey, flowery feelings all day long, even until now. I don't know why, can't blame hormones, because PMS often leaves me with anger, guilt and frustration. Not this.

So yes, I posted things on my friends' wall, saying that I am all jiwang, how I wish I have a boyfriend right now lah, I want to get married by all means, tomorrow if possible lah and shits like that. They just laughed and jokingly said it's all crap lah, I got carried away lah etc. It's such a laugh, yeah I believe so.

So later in the evening, I was chatting with my friend, so I said "Hey come on, find me one good lad, I am all lonely and bla bla." So he said,

"Kid, kau diet la, bagi kurus, baru la ada lelaki yang nak dekat kau."

So yeah, I was hell offended. I cut off the talk, like immediately. Because he's my friend, and I don't want to fire him just because he's been cheap and unreasonable.

So Bro, if you want to be a mean, insensitive prick, at least look at yourself first, try not to lower your standard by saying crappy things like that. Because if that is what you, or other guys see in a girl, a bloody fat girl like me, I fucking swear to God I am better off alone with my own huge ass. I don't have to please people by looking hot, skinny and sexy yet I suffer myself from seeking for true love or whatever shit counts. I am no good inside out I admit, but why do you think you can truly appreciate what is good without accepting what is bad? Come on, you're better than that.

So anyways, good for you to say such things, so now I know you're typical Malay guy who only managed to get lower education you didn't have a chance to learn how to value people. I feel sorry for you, really. What a shame.

So of course I blame myself for being such a stupid asshole. I shouldn't have had that conversation with you, knowing that you're shitty like that.

Okebai.

Was it all for me?

I am speechless right now, thanks a ton.

Thanks man, you really made my day. I never thought words like that would come out from you. But yes, being one stuck up bitch is what I am best at, so far.

Godspeed!

Kimek.

Hoi ingat tak stress ke tengok kawan sekolah, rakan sebaya, jiran kampung, saudara mara dah beranak bagai, yang mengusung perut pun dah berapa orang, lepastu yang tunang sana kahwin sini, tambah pulak yang gambar seronok berpegangan tangan. "I sayang you sebab kita sejenis" tak kira lagi.

Betul ke umur aku 23 tahun? ke dah 230 tahun?

Hell-O? Hell-No!

Every goodbye makes the next hello closer.








Just because your life is so easy, you filthy bastard.

eheh.

What is the price?
What is the prize?
What a surprise.


Some people might not like me, because I am a vocal person, I give comments without giving a damn whether people want to hear it or not.

Some people might not like me, because I curse a lot, I curse people even in my jokes, and "babi", "kimak", "pundek" and "sial" are just like candy.

Some people might not like me, because I talk trash, I laugh hard to pervert jokes with my girlfriends and middle class jokes with my boyfriends.

Some people might not like me, because I am pessimist, I first talk about negativity and later come out with positivity of particular topic.

Some people might not like me, because I am trashy all by myself, horrible hair and stupid clothes.

Some people might not like me, because I smoke like horse, I smoke in front of pakciks and makciks and smile to them when they smirk at me.





It is all fine, seriously. Somehow I enjoy it when people don't like me at all. I don't want to be accepted by all, I just want certain people to be in my life. The rest, I could care less.




But,
Don't treat me like I know nothing about this world at all. Don't go and do faces when you are in front of me. Don't give hints, either politely or impolitely. If you don't like anything about me, say it straight to my face. I am cool enough to hear your vicious words.





Do not kid me. Don't play around. Because I'll play along.

Don't mess.

For all I care, you can just leave.
Yeah, really.


I don't like bad vibes.
If you think I don't give enough, so just fuck off.
I have faced worst, and I have seen worst.


You've got issue with yourself, don't drag me.
You're sad because your life is too miserable, don't share it with me.

I only stick to people who need me, not people who think I am useless to be with.



I don't need you to kutip me.
I am on my own.


Anger and frustration can lead to destruction, channel it to the right way. Not to me. Seriously.

buah hati Kak Maria.

A: alamak. kakak , syafa ni macam wrestler WWF je . bengis + rambut macam tu.

Please take note that A is a retard. Literally retarded retard.
It may sounds funny to you, asshole, but please, duhh.

Again, please don't drop comments like this, on my fucking wall. Or anybody's wall. I don't know you enough to joke around with you.

If you want to be fucking insensitive, be like that to your friends, or your family, not me. Because I don't like you. The world wasn't go around you, buddy. And the fact that you yourself are ugly enough to comment on my physical looks, really makes me laugh.

Really, do we know each other?





And sorry to people who are related to this fucktard,
I am difficult enough to enjoy this kind of humiliation.