I think I grew up a little bit.
I spent last few months reminiscing old memories, how many years I went through being a piece of trash, how many nights I spent being damned, how I became rebellious due to lack of attention, not from my parents, but from surrounding, and how I was struck back.
However, I don't regret growing up the way I did, because if I was too beautiful, I was too smart, I was too rich, I won't be thinking about this later when I'm supposed to. Because I know myself, I was too fragile, too desperate and too stupid.
Well, I asked Ayah few days ago during iftar,
"When do you think the hardest period of our life as a family, Yah?"
Ayah answered,
"I don't think we have ever gone through any lowest situation. Nope. Never."
I am proud of his answer, he didn't say that because of his pride, it was because he is strong like that.
I never see him whining about any single thing happened to us. Let alone being mad seeing me failed.
And then Min, out of nowhere said,
"The year of 2009."
It was like he can read my mind. And then I realized, that was when I started to change. I started to think as an adult, to consider about things, to think about future.
I admit, I am the best living example of "people can only start to realize when they were knocked out by life". It was the hardest. Of course I feel really grateful those things happened to our family, because if not, I don't know what kind of person I am going to turn out to be.
Start again, every time you fail, every time your hopes were crushed into pieces.
